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Passing of Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common sense lived a long life but died from heart failure. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices. He helped folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including, body piercing, whole language, ebonics and new math. His health declined when he became infected with the "If it only helps one person it's worth it" bug. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. Common Sense knew the end was near when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of six-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports. Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

Three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner. Not many attended his funeral unfortunately, because so few realize he is gone.

Submitted by Patty

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Why didn't the hotdog want to be in the movies?
Because, the rolls weren't any good.

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Stupid News

How to have your kiwi bird and eat it too!

Dr. John Wamsley of Environmental Sanctuaries in New Zealand says that the kiwi bird will become extinct within 20 years unless people are encouraged to eat them for then commercial farms would breed the birds back from the brink of extinction. With no commercial demand, they are history. So what to do?

"You don't have a choice of whether you are going to save it [the kiwis] or not," he says. "The question is what we have to do to save it. If that means eating kiwis, then we have to eat kiwis. I think kiwis would prefer to be sold for profit than not exist."

Forest and Bird president calls it "nonsense." He's says it's a matter of good science and good conservation.

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Saying of the Day

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs not kick ourselves too easily.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a polar bear?
A ham-brrrr-grr
Submitted by Scott W.

What's E.T short for?
Because he has little legs.
Submitted by Jordan C.

 

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